BOX O' TRICKS!
The heavy lifting
happens on your desk.
Free Windows and Linux tools for the jobs that are too large, too slow, or too important to trust to one browser tab on a shared host. Your photographs never go through anyone’s cloud to get to your own site.
Why desktop
We said nothing here is new. This is the exception.
For twenty years developers have pretended a browser tab was all you needed to publish a website. It was tolerable in the early days of Web 2.0. It is not workable now. Hosting has consolidated, and you pay more every year for less: your host kills your processes before they finish, you never get the memory you need or the storage you want, and your large backup job never completes. Running a real archive on budget hosting under most current publishing systems is becoming impossible.
So SnapSmack does it the other way round. The server side is built to use as little as possible, and the heavy work moves to your desktop or laptop — a ten-year-old machine still beats a shared host. The desktop tools are powerful, work offline in many cases, and are always free. No hidden tiers, no upsells.
Content management systems are old. Desktop applications are old. Using the second to drive the first is the one thing SnapSmack does that nobody else does. It just made sense.
Make
Edit and compose
The photograph and the words, finished on your machine before they go anywhere.
SNAP SLAPPER
A private photo library and a real non-destructive editor. Normal mode for most photographs, Advanced mode when one needs the whole bench. LEWKS you can see, change, and keep. Generative Fill and Expand — and every AI edit goes on the record in the export, no off switch.
COLD SNAP
Write posts and build BIGGIE photo essays with no connection, from a local cold-storage copy of your site. Sync when the internet comes back.
Publish & sort
Get a shoot onto the site, and keep the archive straight
Batch work belongs on a desktop, not in forty browser tabs.
SMACK YOUR BATCH UP
Load a shoot, reorder it, assign categories and albums, keep the EXIF copyright, and publish the entire batch. Optional AI writes the captions and tags while the queue runs.
GET YOUR SHIT SORTED
An offline sorter for a whole blog. Repair missing titles, captions, alt text, tags and albums; reorder the feed; build carousels. Then push it back.
Get in
Bring your old sites home
Dates, captions, tags, and order survive the trip. Fifteen years of work should still read as fifteen years.
THE UNZUCKER
Instagram export in, classic three-across grid out. Images, captions, hashtags, carousels, and original dates intact. Arrange the grid, lock the panoramas, walk away.
FLKR FCKR
A Flickr archive without resetting its history. Photographs, titles, descriptions, tags, upload dates, views, comments, and likes all make the trip.
SMACKPRESS
A WordPress photo blog into SMACKTALK, one post at a time, with a review step for each. For the blogs where every post deserves a look.
BLOGGER FLOGGER
An old Blogger site into SMACKTALK from a Google Takeout — posts, pages, comments, labels, photographs copied off Blogger instead of hotlinked. Spec’d, not built.
Keep
Back it up, run the fleet
One site or twenty-five. Recoverable even when the original installation is gone.
SMACK UP YOUR BACKUP
Back up one site or a fleet to local storage and cloud providers, audit what exists where, and recover from nothing. Long transfers checkpoint and resume.
SNAP HQ
Local headquarters for the suite. Launch every tool from one place, discover the sites in your fleet, and share protected profiles, libraries, and prompts between the tools that need them.
One rule across the whole suite: the local store is a cache of your site, never a second copy of your originals. You archive your own files. The tools never quietly shadow-copy them anywhere.
Not on the shelf yet
In the workshop
Built and working on the bench, not yet packaged and released. Details on COMING UP THE REAR!